Sometimes a wedding ceremony means celebrating a family too. Whether a couple have children together or are bringing together their own children into a new family, it can be lovely to involve them in the ceremony. So what might they do?
What we love about you both
I always ask couples to tell me what they love about each other which I share in the ceremony. Why not also include what the children love about you (or in the case of a blended family - their new parent). They'll have to promise to keep it a secret and send it to me - grandparents or another close adult will come in handy to help with this!
Invitations or Orders of Ceremony
Couples often spend a fortune on wedding stationary. Here's a cost effective and way cuter design idea. The child gets to see their artwork, everyone admires it and you have a lovely special keepsake from the day!
Best man and rings
Why not make your son a 'wee best man'? He can rock his suit or kilt with style and you don't have to worry about what he's going to say in his speech! He can be the ring bearer too. You may also like to exchange your rings and then present a small gift from both of you as a thank you.
Family hand fasting
A hand fasting doesn't have to be just one or two ribbons. Add in ribbons to the knot to represent your child or children. You'll then have a knot symbolising the strength of your family!
Sand Ceremony
A sand ceremony is a great way to involve children. You each have a different colour sand and can each take turns pouring some into a glass receptacle. The sands, like each individual, retain their separate identities but they have become inseparable. Good to do at the time of signing the schedule with some music playing so you can take your time and help the children to pour.
Readings
Children will need to be confident readers and speakers to do this, but if they are, doing a reading can be a particularly lovely way to involve them. There are lots of passages from children’s books which are very appropriate for a wedding day and if you have more than one child they could do it together, such as this reading 'Us Two' by A.A. Milne.
Vows
In addition to the personal promises you make to each other, you can also have a joint vow that you make to your children. A simple way to acknowledge them in the most important part of the ceremony. For example:
"Do you both promise to guide, cherish and encourage name(s)? To show them how to find happiness in the important things and to hold their hands through their mistakes. And to make your home a place where there is trust, laughter, friendship and love?
You both answer ‘We Do’
A Family Certificate
Children aren’t able to sign the official marriage schedule on the day of course (unless they are over 16 and a witness), but in addition to the marriage schedule, you could also have a family unity certificate that can be signed by everyone!
The Grand Announcement
A simple and lovely way to involve a child is the grand announcement at the end.
"Everyone, please give a great big cheer for mum & dad/ mum & mum/ dad & dad who are now Mr and Mrs/ Mrs & Mrs/ Mr & Mr ....."
And lots more!
Here are just a few suggestions….
Include a quaich ceremony, with a soft drink or 'mocktail' in the quaich for you all to share.
Give them bubble mix and they can blow lots of bubbles into the air as you make your exit down the aisle.
Give two children an end each of ‘Just Married’ bunting. They come to the front before the grand announcement, and walk down the aisle first, with you following them.
The child or children enter before the bride holding a sign saying ‘Here Comes the Bride’
You all have a big group hug after ‘the first kiss’ and before you sign the schedule.
Get them to create a family picture/collage to be displayed on an easel at the front whilst the ceremony takes place.